Tuesday, January 26, 2016

TAGOS AND ELSA SIMULATOR 2016

Hi Jammers! Welp, I've been away from Animal Jam for forever and a half, and today I pay the price for it! I swear,I tried posting on MLK day, but I wasn't able to finish because I only had about 15 minutes. And if you write gargantuan posts like I do, you know that fifteen minutes is not NEARLY enough. Plus there's editing posts, fixing typos, updating the blog, fixing glitches, stuff like that. Running a blog is a full time job! Not to complain, though. I love posting and I love you guys. This is the worst intro ever! Good lord, I've been talking forever! Let's just start the darn thing.
W-w-w-w-WOWIE ZOWIE, ON A BROWNIE! A Winter Palace! COOLIO!! I wonder what it's like.
Oh look! You can buy diamond dens from the regular store now! You never used to be able to do that! Diamond dens were only available in the diamond shop, and gem dens were available from the "Buy new den!" button. But now things are different! Anyway, onto the den.
Oh my good golly gosh, it's Elsa Simulator 2016! You know, the part when she's singing that one dumb song that everyone's obsessed with and creates an ice palace out of nowhere? Yeah, that! I wonder if AJ's artists were inspired by that video. I bet they were. Okay, onto the next page!
Oh cool! Better play those games now folks, because pretty soon they won't have double gems and you'll go back to being poor. Sorry, you're not poor, but you're probably poor on Animal Jam. I, however, never buy anything, so I have a heckload of gems just sitting around collecting dust. Want some gems? I have 300,00! Oh wait, I can't give you gems on Animal Jam. Whoops! Sorry I'm being cynical, but I do hope AJ adds in the feature that you can send gems to other Jammers. Although there are problems with that plan too, it would only increase scamming and cause some gullible Jammers to be broke. Anyway, all the games are x2 gems! Yaaay!
Ooo, a new animal! I wonder what it will be? Oh, a "number" of clues, so it's hidden in the page numbers? Yeah, I'm onto you, AJ. I'm pickin' up what you're puttin' down! Let's see what the letters are.
A tago? GUYS, A TAGO IS COMING TO ANIMAL JAM!! I wonder what a tago is. It will probably look like this:
Guys, if that is coming to Animal Jam, we better run. Just in case you weren't scared enough, I will describe what each of the tago's body parts does! The large red eye is infrared, and can see in the dark so it knows where you are. For the mouth, the brown teeth gnaw and hack at all types of wood (like trees) and the pink teeth are best suited for crushing up electronics, like computers or phones. The leg kicks people to the ground that are in its way, and also swipes at the ground in an attempt to move. The purple-spotted septic hand grabs things it likes, so it can put them in its tube for storage. So you better hope it doesn't like you! The flipper/feather is for swimming in the ocean and flying in the sky, so don't think you can hide in those places! Oh, and the wheels are anti-gravity, so they can go up walls and stick to ceilings and stuff like that. In short, this is the best animal ever! Who needs Deadpool when you got a tago!
*whisper whisper*
Wait, what? The letters don't spell "tago"?
*whisper whisper*
Aww, man! I thought we were gonna have that in Animal Jam! Darn! Well, I'll rearrange the letters the "correct" way. Ugh.
Goat. It's a darn goat. That's annoying! Tagos are awesome! Although the goats are gonna be pretty adorable.
Look at his lil goatee! *gasp* I just realized where the word "goatee" comes from! Goats! Because goats have goatees! OHHH!! I can't believe it took me this long to realize that. Wow, I'm dumb. Well, anyway, you learn something new every day, right? Okay, next page!
Oh, it's just another ad for pet snow leopards. Well, I'm not going to get one because I've been a member for almost 4 years, except for those two times (remember "Me is nonmember"?) Not to brag. But if you want a cute little snow leopard, go ahead and buy a membership! That particular snow leopard in the Jamaa Journal is not very cute, in my opinion. I don't like the colors. But the eyes are cute. What do you think? Cute or naw? Okay, onto this week's RIM since yesterday was a Monday!
Ha! Those are ridiculous! And at a price like that, they should be in Epic Wonders, like last week's. (They're not, for those of you wondering.) Man, a thousand gems! If I had that, I could go into town, get myself a mani-pedi, buy a crate of oranges and a book and I would still have some money left over! Or I could buy a pair on clunky shoes. Hmm, I'm going to have to think about this one! Um, no. I mean, they're fine looking shoes, it's just the fact that they are too expensive. Okay! Onto the next thing on our l'agenda (that's Swahili for 'pickled ostrich fingernails') is the next Jamaa Journal from LAST Thursday! I'm really behind in my postings. Well, here's the first 2 pages. They're both about animals.
Ooh, interesting! Yeah, unfortunately tagos are not coming to Animal Jam. False alarm, people. But they are coming to AJP! I'm going to make the tago I drew AJP Mascot #4!!
It's official, people. That terrifying abomination I created is now an AJP Mascot. Yikes! Oh, and polar bears and armadillos are coming back. I wish when animals came back from their journeys, they would find a new land so we could have something new for once. It's about time, Kimbara Outback is 2 1/2 years old now. Too bad so sad. Okay, onto the next page!
OH! My whining up above amounted to something! First we'll have goats, then we'll have one of these three cuties! Aww, they're all adorable, it's hard to choose. I'm going to choose sloths because they are soooo cute.
Look at that little cutie! I would love to have a sloth on Animal Jam. I wonder if that means they go really slow and can climb trees! Oh, wait, koalas can't climb the AJ trees and they go at normal speed. So never mind. I would be fine with any of those 3 animals, but I have a special place in my heart for sloths <3 Okay, next pages! They're about Valentine's Day.
Nice! It's just the usual Animal Jam Valentine's traditions, but they're still fun. I don't think I actually played Special Delivery last year, so I might do an adventure guide of it on here. Who knows. Plus, there's a new armor in the Diamond Shop. It doesn't look very comfortable. IS that a bunny or a penguin in that armor? Again, who knows! Also, the Friendship Party's back! Yeah! Hmm, they might have some new items this year!
OH GOOD LORD WHAT IS THAT FACE!! Scary! Well, speaking of memes, it's time for our Memeot'day!
HA HA HA! Sheldon is hilarious. Actually, he's really annoying, but the Big Bang Theory is pretty funny. I know this meme is  not that funny, so I'm sorry! I just wanted to do a Valentine's-themed one since it's coming up. Next post's meme will be funnier, I promise. Okay, thanks for reading guys! Hope you liked this post. If you have time, leave a comment, it helps a lot. Okay see you next time! Byeeee~
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Sunday, January 10, 2016

Image Dump 2015! (Part 2)

BTW: I talk about a lot of YouTubers in this post, they are Rhett and Link, jacksepticeye, and danisnotonfire just so you're not like "Who the patoot is she talking about??" This has been a CUASYNC. (Clearing-Up Announcement so You're Not Confused.)

Hey Jammers! Maybe I should stop saying that. So many other people say that, I need to spice it up a little. Make it unique. How about HEY HEY HEY ALL YOU HAMBURGERS! I'M TUX WALLIGAN, AND WELCOME TO ANOTHER CARRRRRAAAAAZY ADVENTURE!!! WOOO!
Hmm. Maybe not. How about "Hello, my fellow intellectuals. How are you this fine chipper morning? Tut tut! Cheerio!"
Nah, that'll never work. I'll just stick to old Hey Jammers! Okay, now, in the last post, I gave you a ton of pictures from the first half of 2015, January-June. And today, I will give you pictures from the second half of the year, except December. That's for the next post. So STICK AROUND! Anyway, here we go with July!

July
I posted a lot of popular posts in July. Actually, that was a bad word to choose, (I sound like that crazy dude up above BUCKET OF LOLS) I should say noteworthy. And I should say that because a lot of cool stuff happened in July- we reached 40,000 pageviews, I started that Ask:Reply thingy, and a post made it onto the 5 most popular posts off of AJP! Yeah! Oh man, this caption is going on too long, let's just START WITH THE PICTURES!!
I don't really know why I was taking a picture of 3 gloves. Oh wait, yes I do. It was for the MMG's page. Okay, next image!
Well, this happened. I was at a dinner party, took a screenshot, uploaded it to Sumopaint, and colored it red. Creepy, isn't it? Click on it to make it bigger, but don't look at it too long, your eyes will hurt! Anyway, next image:
I took a picture of that because they were both 2 awesome upcoming books! I got both of them in 2015, and they were pretty gr9. Did you get either of them? Huh? Huh? Didja? Didja? HUH?! TELL ME YOUR SECRETS!! Sorry. I kinda go crazy sometimes. All right, onto August, my birthday month!! Yaaay!!

August
WOO! Party party party! My birthday was on the 10th, but me and my family went to a family reunion (which was a bust) and then onto a cabin, which was super fun! I celebrated my actual birthday at that cabin, and then we drove back to my town (you'll never know what it is) to have a birthday party with mah frands. Anyway, onto the pictures!!
I blocked off the names of the teachers and the name of the school because, you know, I don't want y'all showing up at my school with a bag full of gummi bears and shouting "GO GO POTATO" like some kind of creepy weirdo. I mean, none of you ARE creepy weirdos, but just to make sure..
So, my brother's in 4th grade, and this was the school supplies list for the school year. Keep in mind, this was written by TEACHERS for every kid and family in 4th grade to see! And yet it says "Welcome to the 2015-2014 school year!" That kinda goes to show you how smart the teachers are at my school...
Those are all the buttons I press to make a new post! I'd say I use the first one 90% of the time, the second one 3% of the time,the third one 2% of the time, and the fourth one 5% of the time! Those last three are just wasted on me.
Well then! That is the face. Face of the year award goes to that one clip of Dan. It kind of looks like he was about to sneeze, hahaha! This is more proof why you should never pause a Youtube video... All righty, on with September!

September
Ol' Seppi Tember was a good month. I think. I went on a canoe trip with my class, that was fun! Did you have a good back to school month? No? Well too bad! HA HA HA HA! Sorry, I have a problem. All righty, Bart Blighty, on with the pictures already!
OH GOOD LORD IT'S A PILE OF TINY ANIMALS! That red cat in the front is just staring at you, like "What...is going on..."
Oh by the way, I got a drawing tablet for Christmas! So my crappy drawings will hopefully be slightly better. Those drawings up above (the fat man and the pretentious lady) I drew with my drawing tablet, didja notice? Anyway, enough blabbering, onto the next picture.
I think the "Listen to Music" button had a little too much to drink last night. I'M NOT AS THINK AS YOU DRUNK I AM! It's supposed to be all green and curly and cute, but right then it was just a mess. And about a month ago, there was no music playing at all! Wikiplayer (that's what I use to play music on here), you dun goofed. Okay, here's the last picture of September.
⋆✰ Click on it to enlarge it ✰⋆
Oh dear lord. I thought my blog was broken before, well just look at THIS! In case you can't see it, there is a whole bunch of random code splattered on the potato background, instead of the stuff in the blog. GO HOME YOU'RE DRUNK AJP!

October
Bwahaha, sp00ky times in Spooptober! I started the month off with a post called "The Post In Which I Say 'Spooky' Too Much" (and I did say 'spooky' too much) and ended it with "Happy Belated Halloween From AJP!" because I'm lazy and I can never post on the days I'm supposed to post. If that makes sense. Which it probably doesn't, so let's start the pictures!
Here is a lovely photo collage I made for my gramma's birthday, which never saw the light of day here. She's okay with me sharing her face on the internet, I asked her first. It's got her as a stick person, it's gt bubbles, it's got a happy birthday sign, it's got a cake with way too many candles that looks like it's going to explode in a fiery inferno, what more could you want? (Don't you just love those stock image watermarks on everything?)
Caption this! Here's what I thought they were saying.
I looked it up, Rhett was saying "And you're just like an animal, you're out in the wilderness, how do you start a fire?" and Link was saying nothing. He was just opening his mouth. Gosh darn trickster Link! Although my interpretation wasn't much different than what they normally say, they say a whole bunch of crazy/funny/weird stuff all the time!

Rhett and Link are great. Okay, next picture!
THE ZEBRAS. THEY'RE GONE. Sorry if that picture takes up the whole screen, as I've said before, "Large" is too small and "Xtra Large" is too big! So I went with too big. Anyway, what I think happened is that the zebras had an organized meeting and decided that they didn't want the publicity anymore. So they no longer show up on Google Images. They've taken flight.
If someone sees that just randomly on the internet, I'm gonna have a lot of explaining to do..hoo boy. Anyway, onto November!

November
November, now we're getting closer to now! My family had a big party then, for my sister's 3rd birthday/my house's 100th birthday. Yep, my house was built in 1915! Pretty cool, right? Okay, on to the pictiorories.
That was when Jack forgot to title his video. I screenshotted it because I knew he would change it later (he did) but also because it was funny. But I don't watch Fallout 4, so I didn't really care.
Well this is strange! It's just the regular Claw (you can tell because of the phantom plushies at the top) but the only thing in the machine is white elephant plushies! How odd! Maybe the elephants have been having secret meetings too. The white ones are the cover-ups while the other colors get into mischief. Like steal your shoes.
Those darn green elephants. Always stealing my Converse. Actually, I don't have Converse. I have purple shoes, though, and those are pretty cool! But you know what the strangest part about that white-elephanat-claw-machine thing is? I got this as a prize!
You know, I don't think that's how it works! If you only have white elephants to choose from, you don't just secrete an orange wolf from it. DO YOU EVEN LOGIC BRO?!? It's a magic claw machine, I guess! Flying in the sky with the zebras! All right, onto the last picture of this post.
I thought that was pretty funny that I got 2 spam emails 12 hours apart from each other. Hilarious, right? No? Yeah, not at all. Okay, well that does it for this post! Hope you liked it! See ya in the next one with December and an Ask:Reply. Oh by the way, happy new year! Byeee!
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Pet Rules

Oh hey, you've made it to the bottom of the page. Well, now that you're here, it's now your responsibility to make sure the pets get fed. So:
1. Feed Pete 2 or 3 fish. DON'T FEED HIM MORE THAN THAT!! He'll fall over!
2. Over on the Fun Stuff page, feed the fishes about 15 pieces of food (5 clicks) Don't let the red one eat all the food! She's very greedy.
3. And finally, feed Rosie who is also on the Fun Stuff page. She needs about 2 apples and 1 piece of broccoli every day. She loves being brushed, so you should pet her with the brush too!

That's all! Now go feed them. THEY'RE HUNGRY. Oh, and by the way did I mention they need these daily?