Thursday, June 15, 2017

Happy Summer :D

Hey everyone! I'm super sorry posts have been so delayed. Trust me, I'm working on them. Yesterday was my last day of school (yay!) so I will have more time to work on them. And also, I realized since the people that read this blog are under the age of 18 and don't have a credit card, I made my newest album Art Is Dead a free download. You'll get that in the next post, or if you subscribe to my newsletter (do that in the box on the right somewhere) you'll get it right now! Anyway, I wanted to take this opportunity to tell you guys a little about my life right now and how the blog is coming! So here goes. I just finished my first year of high school! Cool! What year did you guys just finish? Or maybe you're still in school. Yikes, that's not fun. My school went for forEVER this year. Usually it ends ion like June 5th or June 7th, but this time it waited until June fricking 14th to end! Gosh hizzilty darn it in the fizzle! I don't know what I'm saying anymore. About new posts, again I'm so sorry there haven't been any new ones so far. I had a TON of crap to do (because the teachers are all like "Oh, it's the last week of school? Must be time to give the kids fourteen assignments and five essays per class that are all due tomorrow because we feel like it!") However, I have a lot lined up for this month (incluuuuding another comic mystery!!) and for the whole summer, too. And I have a huge announcement that I have to make on June 30th, so stick around for that. (Wonder what it could be? SIGN UP FOR ME NEWSLETTER AND YOU'LL FIND OUT just kidding #ShamelessSelfPromotion) I also have a buch of ideas for cool posts throughout July and August, too. Oh and Animal Jam Potato Contests is coming back!! Remember that old blog that I haven't used in 4 years? Yup, I'm actually making more contests for it! So yeah, It should be a really fun summer! I hope you guys enjoy and you won't have too long to wait for new content, I promise. In fact, you'll only have to wait until Monday I hope! That'll be a big ol' update post and then we can get mysterious... comic mysterious! (Was that a stretch? Yeah, I thought so too.) And then my announcement on June 30th. So stick around! I'll see you this summer!
~

Friday, May 19, 2017

AJP'S FOURTH BIRTHDAY + ART IS DEAD RELEASE

WOOOHOOO!!! Today, May 19th, 2017, is AJP's fourth birthday! Can't believe it's been that long, that seems utterly crazy to me. Thank you all for sticking with it and all my ups and downs and shenanigans (love that word) throughout these four years, I couldn't thank you enough. I made a superlong post detailing how I as a person have changed since I started this blog, and how you guys as a community have changed too, so go read that! If you want to. I can't make you do anything, obviously. Again, it's really long so it should give ya a good 20 minutes to a half hour of entertainment, depending on how fast of a reader you are. (If you're reading this now, just scroll down and click on the post below this one; if you're reading in DA FUTURE then you can click here to read it.) Also, I FINALLY released my album Art Is Dead, which I have been working on for almost a year. It has 5 songs, plus a pretty radical acapella bonus track! You can stream the songs from Bandcamp directly (up to 3 times) or from my Soundcloud account which is here, and you can directly buy or stream the album here. (It's only $3.00 for 6 songs, which is a pretty sweet deal if you ask me.) Oh, and since you guys are so amazing, I'm giving y'all 15% off the album, which is a 45¢ sale, bringing it down to $2.55. (What a steal! lol) That's all from me today, thank you guys as always for being so awesome, I really can't thank you enough. This community has grown so much in four years- here's to four more!
~

The Evolution of Neros1234 (and how to properly pronounce my name)

HEY YO- MY ALBUM, ART IS DEAD IS FINALLY OUT!! YAAAY!! CLICK HERE to go buy it and use the discount code "sneaky" at your checkout for 25% off. :)

(also the "how to properly pronounce my name" part is at the very end)

HOWDY Y'ALL HAMBURGERS! HOW'S LIFE IN THE FUN LANE?! ARE YEEEW READY FOR ANOTHER EXCITING HOEDOWN OF A POST?! YOU KNOW YOU ARE!! SO PUT DOWN YOUR GLASSES AND PICK UP YOUR GUNS, BECAUSE IT'S TIME TO GET ROCKIN'! YEEEEEEHAW!!!
Now that you had that burst of energy from good ol' Tux Walligan, your daily dose of excess energy, let's get onto the post! So, remember that post I made back in July called Hate and Swearing Part II? Yeah, that one! Well, I was looking back on that post and reflecting on it, and I realized that I've changed a considerable bit since I first started this blog, almost 4 years ago. (Wow, has it really been that long?) So get ready for a cheesy walk down Memory Lane in the Evolution of neros1234!
So, let's start at the very beginning. No, actually, let's start before the beginning- in 2012. I already told you guys about me joining Animal Jam last September, so I'm not gonna do it again. Anyway, after I had joined Animal Jam for a while and all the kids in my school had jumped on that bandwagon, (I had to keep changing my password because everyone kept guessing it and stealing my stuff- yeah, it was that crazy) I started reading Animal Jam blogs, especially Snowyclaw's blog. Now it has like a million authors and only posts once every few days, but back then it was a reliable source for all Animal Jam related news. Sure, it wasn't very funny or insightful like this blog is (shameless self promotion WHOOPS SORRY), but each post arrived every day on time with the new items or MMGs (remember those?) or whatever else was new in Animal Jam. And because we didn't have the computer that I'm typing on right now and we only had the one on the basement, 'twas a bit of a challenge to get on the computer to check AJ often. (Although I would tell my parents that I was going on there to "do my daily gem spin" or "check my email" and that would give me a good opportunity to be on AJ for a while. >:) ) However, even though I didn't have a computer, I did have this little crappy blue tablet that was supposed to be used for reading books and stuff (I tried to read Little Women but I didn't even make it through the first chapter), but you could use it to play games and go on the internet too. But the emphasis is on "crappy". It did not work. At all.
It would not track my fingers, the screen was like 500 feet thick, it would crash my stuff all the time, it couldn't hold a charge... the list goes on. Eventually I smashed it with a hammer in like 2015. That was fun. Anyway, I used to read Snowyclaw's (and others') blogs from that tablet every day, and that is where I discovered the art of the Animal Jam blog.
So, you've probably guessed by now that that is how I decided to make my own blog, and so I created this one. AND YOU'RE HALF RIGHT! Yes, I was inspired by Snowyclaw to create my blog, but I didn't create this one first. After an exciting rest of 2012 (man 2012 was a crazy year), I joined the newspaper club at my school! Yay! Isn't that fun? Except it wasn't. We literally only published 2 issues the entire year. However, I wrote 3 articles called "animal jam news" where I would tell the new items, RIMs, and a synopsis of the Jamaa Journals every week when the newspaper club would meet, and that was kind of my first foray into Animal Jam blogging. But none of them actually got published in the newspaper! I'm still salty about that. If you see one of the teachers of that newspaper class, just give them a hard stare. They'll know what it's for. (Despite you not knowing who these people are or where they live, and the fact that this was 4.5 years ago. But we'll fudge on the details a bit.) Actually, now that I think about it, I've published those articles on this blog! Oh you haven't seen them? Well if you have a Blogger blog or even if you don't, put on your listening ears! It's Tutorial Time with Neros! So, Blogger has this feature called Schedule where you can change the date of your post. You can get to it from here:
 And then you change it from "Automatic" to "Set date and time".
You can put any date on there, all the way back to 1970 up to 2999. Yes, the year 2999. But if you publish a post in a crazy far-off year, then it's labeled as "Scheduled" and won't be posted until that day. So if you put your post's date as May 8th, 2098, then you'd better be prepared to wait a while. (Of course you can change it later and put in a different date. Thank goodness for that!) ANYWAY! This has gotten very sidetracked, in true neros1234 fashion. But we must carry on! WE'LL CARRY O- I am sorry. Anyway, I used the schedule feature for those articles and published them on here with the date of when they were written- November and December 2012.
Okay, I can tell this is boring you. So we'll skip ahead to April 2013, when I created...drum roll please....
"Hilarious AJ Pictures". Yep, I had a lot of tries before I created this blog. So, the backstory of this one was I had looked at all these Animal Jam blogs, and a lot of them had a "funny pictures" part of their blog, which was (no offense) just a bunch of 9 year olds with terrible grammar making their animal say something that I guess I thought was just hysterical. My favorite was this one that, looking back, makes absolutely no sense at all:
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN??!! I thought it was the most hilarious thing I'd ever seen back in 2013, and I don't know why. Also, Grammar Police Neros coming out a little bit here, but ya didn't use the correct form of "they're". And not only that, they spelled "their" wrong!! ARRGH! I really can't stand people that have no sense of how to spell things! It really Mondays my Garfield. And I thought it was so funny, I put it on my fricking COMPUTER BACKGROUND!
Fun fact: I use Sumopaint for everything now and I have been doing that for years, (like seriously. Every single picture on this blog is either a screenshot or made/edited in Sumopaint.) but in early 2013 I didn't use Sumopaint. I used this really crappy program called Gimp Editor and then screenshot the finished product. (I had to screenshot it because if I saved it, it would save as a ".xcf" file which no one could use. The problem with that was there was a black-and-yellow line on the edges of the artwork, so that would get in the way when screenshotting. Here's some examples:
Notice that little line? And yes, it's at the bottom of my logo! Have you ever noticed that? Probably not, because it's so tiny, but yeah I didn't make that logo in Sumopaint. The reason I've never fixed it or updated it is because to this day I still really like it. I like the fact that each letter is a different font (bonus points if you can guess what each of the 5 fonts are) and the numbers being outlined by my different animals. My dolphin is completely black in the 2 because I was using that for a joke in a post back in Mayish 2013, on Hilarious AJ Pictures. Fun fact 2: I made this logo at 9:30 PM on May 19th, 2013, about an hour after I created this blog!!  Good times, man. OH! I almost forgot! That wasn't my original logo! This was:
This was made on May 16th, 2013. Man, what a difference 3 days can make! This one's decidedly crappier. For one, you can see the brush strokes; the Neros part is slanted for some reason; the N is all weird; you didn't crop the laughing face; the 1234 is transparent; you can see the brush in the bottom right corner; and there's a random yin yang symbol in the middle of the O. I'm glad 2013 Neros decided to up the quality of her logo 3 days later. Wow, this is getting me so nostalgic even though this was just 4 years ago! People really change, I guess. OKAY THIS IS GETTING WAY TOO CHEESY AND BORING FAST FORWARD TO THE CREATION OF AJP!!
So. The day was May 19th, 2013. My family had just had a lovely dinner with our family friends, and after that I walked inside and got on the computer. I had just discovered how easy it was to get a Blogger account, and so I signed up with my school account and clicked "Create a blog". Now I needed a name. Should I create a title that would be funny, but also easy for people to remember? Nope! Not at all! Instead, how about just put your favorite food and then slap "Animal Jam" in front of it and call it a day. That sounds like a great idea, Neros! Go with that! (I also considered "The Animal Jam Kidney Bean". Yeah. THAT would have been a different blog entirely.) Alright, now that we have a name and an actual Blogger blog, it's time to make a first post. Let me think. 2013 Neros, should we make something condescending yet witty; pulling audiences in from all corners of the earth and really show what to look for in this blog?
Nope! Just make a 2-sentence post in which you shamelessly self-promote your "funny picture" website that no one has heard of or cares about, introduce yourself, and that's it. Jesus Christ 2013 Neros. "May/may not have seen"? Who do you think you're you kidding, 2013 Neros? The only people that ever looked at that in the month of its existence were you and your brother! Man. I kinda wish I made a cooler first post, so I would be able to react on it later and see how much I've grown as a person and as a creator. But NOPE! At least it wasn't as bad as Dan's infamous Hello Internet.
press 'Like' FOR TOAD? x
Anyway, let's move on over to the summer of 2013. I made really painfully short posts like that one, but at least they were consistent. I was pretty proud of myself that I posted almost every day in July and August.
That first summer was interesting, because although I made some stuff I'm kinda embarrassed by now (aka everything I ever did in 2013) this was the first period of time that I got recognized online and got my first online friends and fans. I got my first thousand views in July 2013, which was pretty cool! I also made this:
First of all, "2-mnth"? Are you trying to replicate Fall Out Boy's "Thnks Fr th Mmrs"? When there's a red line under  a word, you should probably go back and check it! (I will correct everyone's spelling and grammar, including myself.) Also, Jesus Christ you've had your blog for literally 2 months there is no need to celebrate that. Good lord, I have a hard enough time making posts for AJP's yearly anniversaries, much less 2 months! But I guess you have that kind of time to make posts like that when you are 10 and it's summer. Anyway, moving onto September 2013!
Now, as you might know, (because I've only mentioned it 20 million times on this blog) THIS WAS THE POST. THIS WAS THE POST THAT STARTED IT ALL, MAN. And it was all because of that second picture right above this text. For some reason that day, I was just making a post as usual and decided to change the colors of the ring, and BOOM it blew up in my face and it got like 7,000 views (which is the most views a post has ever gotten) and almost 40 comments. Which is a lot, okay! Jeez. Anyway, if you don't know the whole ding-dang story you could probably just search for it over on the right -----> under that lovely counter I have until AJP's birthday. Which is very very soon actually! Anyway. This post [Turquoise Ring], this one singular post, proves that I can NEVER BE RID OF ANIMAL JAM. All of my fans and all of the general people that read this blog found it because they were tied to Animal Jam in some way, and so was I. But you know what? I think it's about time to move on from AJ together! As a community! Because to tell the truth, if you're older than 14, you're probably getting too old for the game. However, I am just a random person on the internet that you most likely don't know in real life, so if you don't want to base your decisions off of my opinion, that's okay. OKAY! That got weird! Moving onto November 2013!
Really the only reason I'm talking about this month in particular is because a. I went to San Diego, which was pretty cool (↑that's a picture I took there, and that picture of me next to Lego Yoda that I showed you in my face reveal post was also taken in San Diego) and b. I made my first kinda cartoonish picture in Sumopaint. You know my style of drawing? Well this was my first stab at that in the post called "Anchor".
HAHAHAHHAHHAThat's so hilarious, 2013 Neros!! You should be a comedian. Jesus, look how badly that's drawn! I don't actually think a giant floating nutshell with a flag needs an anchor, but I see where you were going with that. Moving onto the good ol' year of 2014!
This was the background I used for New Year's 2014. Ain't that great? I love the super stretched out (WISH WE COULD TURN BACK TI'll stop) party hat ya got there, Neros. Expert editing right here. Also, about the 5 exclamation points- good Jesus, this is the new year, not MCR getting back together! Fun fact actually- did you know there's only 5 posts on here without an exclamation point. (Extra credit if you can find all 5; it took me forever!) I guess I'm just a really loud and excited person. ANYWAY! Onto April 2014!
This was my very first April Fool's Day joke, and I gotta give 2014 Neros credit this time! This is actually a good idea in theory! IN THEORY. My idea was to make it look like the background was glitching out by making some glitch art of the potato and then making it a gif. Hilarious prank, right? NOPE! It actually just blinded people and turned them away from my blog! Fun!! Here was the original gif:
Now imagine that x300, constantly looping in the background while you're trying to read something. Not the wisest decision, 2014 Neros. Here's something you probably don't know: In April 2014, I also had an app! Yup! An AJP app. That got downloaded by exactly 1 person. Here's a screenshot!
Now, keep in mind, this is version 1. I did update this app later on- I mean, I'm not insane! Who in their right mind would release an app and not update it at least once?? Here is the updated version:
YUP! It's exactly the same except for the font. What a great app, everybody! Let's give it a round of applause!! 👏👏👏 Here is the page for it, on the website that I made it on:
Oooooh the cringe. I hope y'all realize that this was from 3 years ago so that doesn't reflect me anymore. At all. Yikes. If you so choose, you can also relive the cringe (and if you want a blast from the past you can actually download the app) by clicking here. Anyway, onto May 2014!
This is what the blog looked like on May 19th, 2014. That potato cake is pretty okay! Not your best work, 2014 Neros, but okay! Also, I put up a counter on my blog until May 19th, 2014 (I did that this year too), except I forgot to make the counter stop at 0 when it reached the end. So it just kept on going, and even though I removed that gadget from the blog, I had saved it in the Wayback Machine (that's how I got this screenshot), so the counter has been counting up ever since then!
So right now, if you go to the saved version of AJP from 5-19-2014, you can watch that counter go up and up! And it makes sense that it's 1095 days...
Okay, now for a brief summary of the rest of 2014. It was pretty neutral, AJP reached 10,000 and then 20,000 views; I made a bunch of posts; I went to Michigan and played some music; I had a copyright issue in Septmber; and I realeased an album. (which you can buy at neros1234.bandcamp.com) I need to stop with the shameless self promotion! Alright! Onto 2015!
Ahhh... more cringe. I love waking up to a fresh glass of cringe in the morning! If you have no idea what I'm talking about (and I don't blame you), I made these REALLY terrible and cringey videos in January 2015 called "Gaming Challenges". Yes, it is as bad as it sounds. It was basically where I would start up a screen recorder, play a flash game for 8 minutes, and that constituted a video. There was no "challenge" part of it at all, I have no idea where I got that part, and also they were completely unedited. Yeah. Oh god, I have spent 2 years trying to repress those memories and now I'm bringing them forth into the light!! Noooo!! I actually got a comment on one of those videos that was from some guy, and he was actually giving me criticism on this piece-of-crap video that I literally spent no time making. *searches* Oh my god, I actually found the comment!! Here it is:
What a rude little boy David is. And I was trying my best, too! HAHHAHHA That was a funny joke! Nope, he was almost entirely right except that I'm a female so my voice isn't gonna change that much from when I was 12 to when I'm 18. But yeah, I did sound like a five year old and yeah, I was horrible at all the games I played. And again, it was unedited, so I could be stuck at one part of a game for the entire video. (David's still rude though. Classic David... ugh.) Anyway... I'm just really regretting the fact that these videos ever existed. Luckily I took them down and deleted the original files, but they are still burned into my (and David's) brain. Just trust me... they were terrible. Anyway, I returned to blogging after that monstrosity of a month in February, and the rest of 2015 was really influential in developing my style of drawing and sense of humor. We started the year with 25,000 views and ended it with almost 60,000, so good job guys! That's so awesome. I'm always so amazed by how much this community grows in such a small amount of time. Here's some of my "artwork" that I did in 2015:
And the list goes on and on. I think what we've learned from this is I should never have obtained a computer. Like...never. My blog is a crapstorm. It's like you're in a tornado and you grab the first two things that fall into your hands, and I have a picture for it. Cactus and chair? Perfect! Tree and deformed squirrel-looking creature? I got you bro. A duck and some sandals? I have it! Man, what have I become? ANYWAY!! After 2015 I really haven't changed much. Except my posts are less more annoying and less Animal Jam-themed. But that's alright, like I said before, it's a process that we will work through together! But anyway, this post has gone on way too long (as it usually does) and so it's time for the MEMEOFTHEDAY!!
I mean, they're not wrong. Colleges make so much fricking money from our tuitions. Plus, students need to use the printer for assignments and stuff so they, ya know, don't get kicked out of college! The world is broken, man. Wow, this post started off insane and ended kinda sad. You know what, let's end it with a pun, just for good ol' times sake!
BWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH THAT'S SO FUNNY I THINK ID IED LAUGHING I'M IN MY GRAVE RIGHT NOW HAHHA Ooookay, settle down. HAHAHAHHAHAH Jesus, why am I like this?! Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this extra-special post for AJP's birthday, and I hope you had a lovely May 19th! I decided to tone it down this year; previous years I have gone a bit over the top with AJP's birthday. But it's special, you know? OH! I completely forgot about the "how to pronounce my name" part! So here it is:

My name, neros1234, is pronounced "nuh-ross" (as it says in my Blogger bio) and not "knee-rose" as some of my friends were calling it. NO! That's not it! It's not pronounced like the Norwegian name! Just imagine you were about to call someone a nurse (I don't know, just roll with it) or no, I know, a nerd! Yeah! That's really an outdated phrase, but imagine you're a bully in a 1980's classic teen movie, and you're about to call a kid a nerd, but then this really big strong guy named Ross comes along. And you're like
Well, that was quite possibly the worst analogy anyone in the history of the world has ever come up with! I mean, at least you'll remember it forever now, because it's so weird?! I mean, it's not any weirder than any of the "artworks" I showed you up there↑. Yeah, I don't know why the little kid with brown hair has no arms. Or where he's looking. I never said I could draw, okay?! Okay! That is enough internet for now. If you enjoyed this thouroughly strange and somewhat demeaning post, say so in a comment! I'd appreciate that. And go listen to my new album! It's really good, I promise. Bye!
~

Saturday, April 29, 2017

soon

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Thursday, April 20, 2017

MY NEW FAVORITE PERSON

Look at this man.
This man is named Hugo Gernsback, and here he is in 1963 with his new invention, the TV Glasses. Isn't that awesome? Doesn't he look great, all suited up with his amazing new invention? Of course he does! Now look at this idiot.
First of all, he looks like he just swallowed something out of his parent's medicine cabinet. Can you make a weirder expression, dude? His forehead is so big you can't even see his hairline. Anyway, just look how stupid he looks. He probably got $100,000 from his parents to go to college and this is what he spent it on instead. Look at him wearing some dumb product that isn't even his. I mean, just look at that weird thing over his left eye! It looks so ugly! Just look at it on other people!
Just look at these two fools. What are you laughing at, lady? Spoiler alert: it's not funny! Unless you count your stupid-looking face, that's pretty funny. And that guy on the bottom, thinking he's all cool. Well you're not, dude! Look at those caterpillar eyebrows. You could start a rug plantation with those eyebrows. Anyway, this is probably the ugliest piece of STOLEN technology I have ever seen. And yes, I did say stolen. Remember that guy I showed you at the beginning? Like 45 seconds ago? Yeah, him! Well, HE invented these so-called "google glasses" first, 50 years before those bozos at Google went and made some! Just look at his patent:
Gosh diggity hecking darn, this makes me mad. Why can't good ol' Hugo get the recognition he deserves?? #justice4hugo2017 Anyway, you're probably wondering what kind of loopy drug I'm on to make such a random post such as this one, so here's the story: I was working on a presentation for my French class about Luxembourg. And when I looked up famous people from Luxembourg, this guy showed up. I then did a little more research and badabing badaboom! See, it's not that hard to understand. Is it? Anyway HAPPY420KTHANKSBYE
~

Pet Rules

Oh hey, you've made it to the bottom of the page. Well, now that you're here, it's now your responsibility to make sure the pets get fed. So:
1. Feed Pete 2 or 3 fish. DON'T FEED HIM MORE THAN THAT!! He'll fall over!
2. Over on the Fun Stuff page, feed the fishes about 15 pieces of food (5 clicks) Don't let the red one eat all the food! She's very greedy.
3. And finally, feed Rosie who is also on the Fun Stuff page. She needs about 2 apples and 1 piece of broccoli every day. She loves being brushed, so you should pet her with the brush too!

That's all! Now go feed them. THEY'RE HUNGRY. Oh, and by the way did I mention they need these daily?