Tuesday, February 14, 2017

AJP VALENTINE'S SPECIAL!

NOTE: Sorry this post gets a little depressing. I just wanted to get some things off my chest, and I explained more in the post. Hope you enjoy regardless!

HELLO! Bonjour! Hola! Guten tag! Dia dhuit! Yes! Welcome to a very special post here on good 'ol AJP. Do you remember my last post? In which I said I was going to have a more consistent schedule? And that I was going to make an extra-special Valentine's post? WELL HERE IT IS!! As you have already figured out by the title. Whoops. Well anyway, it's FINALLY VALENTINE'S DAY and love is in the air!!
Well, thank you for giving your opinion, Grumpy Cat. Jeez, I never knew a cat could be so cynical. But today we're gonna have fun fun fun fuN fUN FUN FUN!!
Oh dear, let's not bring that atrocity back to life. I actually kind of like Kazoo Kid though, I mean, just look where he is now!
Heheheheh. ;) Anyway, today is going to be an ANIMAL JAM POST which I haven't done since November!! WOO! Hype!! Hype it up! I personally haven't logged into Animal Jam since the Jamaalidays, so let's sign in to make sure everything hasn't fallen apart.
Oh would you look at that! It's still functioning and there are people on it. Hey, remember those videos that were all the rage a couple years ago that everybody jumped on the bandwagon of? Those videos that were all "Is Animal Jam Shutting Down In 2016???!1??!???!1" Yeah, those! Now let's take a moment to appreciate, in 2017, how absolutely stupid those people look.
Oh my actual god. This is why you should maybe do a little thing called RESEARCH before you make a video, and that way, your video won't be hilariously disproven in 1 or 2 years, and I wouldn't be making fun of it. But the YouTube algorithm doesn't care. These videos still get thousands of views. Meanwhile my most viewed post (Turquoise Ring) has 6k views, and I posted that 3 years ago. But if some dumb*ss Animal Jam YouTuber makes the EXACT SAME thing, their video will get 100,000 views. Without them doing any work at all. And can we just take a moment to appreciate these descriptions? I haven't even clicked on any of the videos, this is just by the little snippet that YouTube gives you before you click. And already they make me want to jump off a cliff.
Ahem. "WILL ANIMAL JAM BE CLOSING IN 2016??!!1! FIDN OUT MORE IN MY NEXT VIDEO!!1! WACTH ALL 10 MINUTES AND THEN YUOTUBE WILL PAY ME MORE!!1 ALSO HERE'S MY TIWTTER GO LOOK AT IT IM TRYIGN TO REACH 1,000,000,000 FLOLOWERS BY TOMORROW! THNKAS BYE!!1!" Gotta get that self-promo in there.
Hoo boy. Okay, here we go- "OMG GYUS IS THIS TRUE?????!!!!!????? SBUSCRIBE TO MY CHANNEL PLZPLZ!!!1!! MYABE IT IS TRUE??? I SAW IT ON SOME GYUS INTASGRAM SO IT MSUT BE TRUE!!!?! LOOK FOR YOURSELF: CKILC WRITE HEAR!!! WHAT IF ITS TRUE?!!???!???!!!? OH MY GOD MYABE iT IS TRUE!!!??!???!??? SBUSCRIBE TO MY CHANNEL FOR COMEDY VIDEO!!!11!!1?! ALSO DID I MENTION TO SUBSCRIBE TO MY CHANNEL?!!?"
Oh dear god. *breathes in* "HEY GUYS MY FAVORIET GMAE ANIMAL JAM IS SHUTTTING DOWN IN2 YEARSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS????????!!!!?? I'M SO DEAD RIGHT NOW!!!11!!??!!1!! BRAEKING NEWS!!1!??!1 1000% TREU I CHECKED WITH WKIIPEDIA.COM AND IT SAID IT WAS RGHIT???!!/1!!11??? I LITREALLY JUST KEELED OVER AND DIED WHAT SO FUNNY????/11?!!?!?!?!? SBUSCRIBE TO MY CHANNEL FOR COMEDY VIDEO"

Whoo. I need to chill. Okay, that's not actually what the descriptions are like- I MAY have overexaggerated just a TINY bit. But you get the picture- Animal Jam YouTubers are really annoying, and I like to take the opportunity to make fun of them. Okay, what the heck were we doing before all of that mess? Oh right! To Animal Jam!
Right. I already showed that screenshot. Hey, I'm doing fine here! I'm not falling apart! Onto something else related to Animal Jam.
I don't think that's related to Animal Jam.
That's the Pillsbury Doughboy.
I guess that's kind of related to Animal Jam, in some weird way, but you are obviously getting nowhere. Let me do it!
There we go. And look at that, Animal Jam's got some new loading screens, aww! They're pretty for Valentine's Day and winter in general! Look at all those cute animals with their valentines. Really makes me wish I had one, you know? :'(
NOPE! We are stopping that train before it leaves the tracks. In fact, we are not even lettingn it get on the tracks. We are DUMPING IT IN A RIVER just like my BROKEN SOU
Jesus Christ I'm so distractable. I've written all of this and we haven't even gotten to the first page of the Jamaa Journal. Good lord.. anyway, speaking of, here is the first page of the Jamaa Journal! Yaaaay!
HOLY COW! IT'S THE FRIENDSHIP FESTIVAL!! Yeah!! Let's go to that and see if anything's changed from previous years.
Your answer, folks, is NOPE! Not at all! Literally everything is the same. I mean, get a load of this- look at this picture from February 2013:
WHERE IS THE DIFFERENCE?! Seriously, click on the above picture and then use the right and left arrow keys to go back and forth between them. There's no difference! My animal is even in the almost exact same spot 4 years later. The only thing that changed was that bush.
Man, this is why I say Animal Jam is getting boring. They have the same darn parties every year, and nothing really changes. I mean, look at this page of the newest Jamaa Journal.
It's just the same stuff, over and over again, getting repeated. It used to be a rare thing that animals would go "traveling", and when they did, they would bring back a new land. Now literally every issue of the JJ some animal is leaving and another one is coming back. (And no amount of llama puns is going to make me care that they're lleaving.) Now it's been, what, 4 years since we've had a new land? Can the developers and animators of this game start working on that instead of making these silly Jamaa Journals every 2 weeks that basically say the same thing? I mean, not to crap all over WildWorks and Animal Jam, I think they're a great company, but they're really just not making enough new content. I left for 2 months and basically nothing has changed. Sure, they add little updates and changes here and there, but it's just little stuff. Like here's some examples from the JJ:
The Friendship Cottage and Special Delivery things are cute, sure, but they're old and recycled. I think they made both of those in 2015 or 2016, so this is either the second or third year. And I know that's not very much, considering how long Animal Jam's been around, but this page is just giving us year-old news. And the top one, well, woohoo, now you can click on people's usernames, but did that really warrant its own page? A few lines of code? It's things like this, these updates, they're just little things. Magic is when big things happen. And we all know from playing Animal Jam so long that it is magic, or it used to be. I truly used to love this game. All its features, games, the really well-done art styles, items, communication between other players, all of it was so amazing to me. But now Animal Jam's just feeling burnt out. Maybe after 6 years, it's just not what it was anymore. I don't know, that's just my perspective on things. But as long as I'm continuing this post, we might as well finish the Jamaa Journal.
Well cool! 1000 den items! Hoo boy, that is a lot of items. I think I only have 500 right now. That's pretty neat, but I don't think it's "never been a better time to be an Animal Jam member", like they say. I've seen better times. Like how bout, oh gee, let me think, MONTHLY MEMBER GIFTS. Everyone loved those! Those were great! But noooo, Animal Jam can't let us have anything nice! They have to just take it away! I think THAT was a pretty darn good time to be an Animal Jam member! Well, let's see what the other pages have for us.
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention this. Cool, they have a member spin now! yAyAY! Not very exciting. Who wants diamonds anymore? Pshh. I have 139. I certainly don't need diamonds. Also, what happened to gems? I need more gems please! 300,000 is not enough Animal Jam! GIVE ME MORE GEMS!!
These pages are kinda interesting because they're announcement pages, telling people about events that are coming up. But again, these events have happened in the past and they're nothing new. If I had a dollar for every time I took the Safe Internet Quiz and got all the answers right, I'd have like 20 bucks. But I suppose it is important to teach kids about being safe on the internet and not sharing information, so I guess that's fine. And the photography contest sounds cool, too.
Alright, last page! What have we got? OH NO THE ANIMAL JAM BOX IS LEAVING?! NOO! Yeah, I know what I said before the holidays, about how I would open one of those every three months and show you here on AJP, but I must admit I haven't done that yet. *sigh* And now they're running out! Oh by the way, tell me in the comments- how many Animal Jam boxes have they shipped out yet? I'd be interested in knowing. I know I could google it for myself, but I'm too lazy to do that and would rather use the power of you guys to tell me. So do that if you know! Anyway, back to the Friendship Party again, because I want to at least show you some screenshots of it in case you didn't get to go.
Yeah, I have to admit, even though it's an old party, it's still really pretty. And here's what they're selling in the shop:
The nice thing about parties that are set in dens (like how this one is in the Princess Castle) is that you get to recreate the party in your own den! I bet you could buy all the items taht are at the Friendship Party and put them in your Princess Castle perfectly so it looks just like the real thing. Wouldn't that be awesome? Someone should totally do that. Also, I kinda like the Friendship Party because once (and by once I mean 4 years ago) I emailed Snowyclaw some screenshots of it and she responded.
So that's pretty cool! Thanks for responding Snowyclaw! i hate her with a burning passion That's really great! i don't like animal jam youtubers Ha ha! What a great thing! kill me now (No but seriously, Snowyclaw's fine. It's the other people that kinda get on my nerves. I don't actually hate her with a burning passion.) ANYWAY! Hope y'all had a great Valentine's Day! Did y'all see Markiplier's video called A Date With Markiplier? If not, you totally should, it's super cool. It's kind of like the thing I did for April Fool's Day 2015, it has a whole bunch of choices and endings and stuff. I made a list of all the possibilities, I have no idea why:
So anyway, that's just a fun little Valentine's adventure that I thought you guys might enjoy. There is some violence, swearing, and creepy stuff, but it's nothing y'all can't handle, I don't think. Click here to go see that. Anyway, I hope you liked this post! OH WAIT! I almost forgot! One more Animal Jam thing before I go. When I went to my Parties list to go to the Friendship Party, I noticed this:
Wow, Animal Jam's been busy! Special Delivery and the Friendship Party I already went over, but what's this? New Year's Fortune? Yes please! Let's check that the heck out!
Oh well would you look at that! It's a little old Adventureypoo! Hey Liza! How's it going? So the rules of this adventure are basically this- you have to search for a special red envelope with a rooster on it, and if you do that in 3 minutes then you get to open the envelope and get a prize. If you don't, then the envelope moves to a random new location and you have to start all over again. But you're not just shooting in the dark- you have a little color-changing dragon that helps you decipher where it is. If you're not close at all, it's blue. If you're somewhat close, like in the general area of it, then it's green. And if you're really close, then it's red.
Also, sometimes it breathes out some sort of magical icy breath-wind-thing, but I don't know what that's about. STOP MESSING ME UP WITH YOUR ICE BREATH, DRAGON! But ignoring the icy dragon breath, the adventure sounds easy enough, right? WRONG! I played this for about 15 minutes and I didn't get a red envelope until the very end. My dragon even turned red a few times, and I still couldn't find it!! I thought the little map in the corner would be more helpful in this adventure, because you could see where you haven't been and where it might be. But it turns out this adventure is FRICKIN GINORMOUS! Speaking of the map, it was absolutely no help at all-
Oh my god. What a troll Animal Jam is. They just trolled us all. Thanks, that's really helpful. Who at AJHQ was like "Oh, let's make an adventure where you have to find an envelope otherwise it disappears! And then let's make it virtually impossible to find! And then let's make the map into completely unhelpful question marks that don't even let you know where you've been before! TROLOLOLOL!" But regardless of that silly person with flawed ideas about society, I FOUND AN ENVELOPE!!
You're dang right it's floating in a pool of light! Hallelujah and praise the lord, I finally found an envelope!! After 15 minutes of searching, envelope after envelope disappearing, I finally found this one! THIS IS MY GIFT FROM THE HEAVENS! Okay, let's open it up and see my prize. It's probably going to be like a Lamborghini or a ton of rare items or something. Maybe they'll just make me into a god.
Oh my goodness gracious, I get two prizes!! Thank you, Animal Jam. Okay, I'm ready to see what they are. Woo-sah. Here we go.






Are you kidding me? Are you literally kidding me right now? Fricking GEMS? One hundred fricking gems?! After all that work, and all that pain I went through to find this envelope, you gaVE ME A HUNDRED HECKING GE









thank you for reading this post. i am dead inside. why did i decide to come back to animal jam? anyway. hope you enjoyed this post. let me know if you want more animal jam. did you have a good valentine's day? good. great. i'm going to go jump out a window. bye
~

1 comment:

Hey everyone! If you're about to comment, thanks so much! That's really nice of you! But I do have a few ground rules....
1. Please don't swear, this is an Animal Jam blog and if you want to be vulgar go do that somewhere else.
2. Don't bully. It's rude and mean. Your comment will be deleted if I see it or someone reports it to me.
3. Have fun while commenting!! Feel free to ask me anything about AJ and I will try to respond.

Pet Rules

Oh hey, you've made it to the bottom of the page. Well, now that you're here, it's now your responsibility to make sure the pets get fed. So:
1. Feed Pete 2 or 3 fish. DON'T FEED HIM MORE THAN THAT!! He'll fall over!
2. Over on the Fun Stuff page, feed the fishes about 15 pieces of food (5 clicks) Don't let the red one eat all the food! She's very greedy.
3. And finally, feed Rosie who is also on the Fun Stuff page. She needs about 2 apples and 1 piece of broccoli every day. She loves being brushed, so you should pet her with the brush too!

That's all! Now go feed them. THEY'RE HUNGRY. Oh, and by the way did I mention they need these daily?